Script Draft 1
Suck
Director:
I welcome you all to these wonderful auditions for the legendary WIZARD OF OZ! Please stand so I can judge you. [walks through audience and makes hurtful comments about people. Walks to stage.] You’re all cut. Except you six. You are perfect. Exactly what I was looking for. Get up here… Now why are you here again? Oh, auditions! Yes! So, my assistant here will begin by having you present your prepared pieces. I shall return shortly after locating my salamander named FLUFFY! [Walks off stage absentmindedly.]
Assistant Director:[Stares in disgust at director] So, anyways. Please come up one at a time and deliver your monologue.
Cody: [ELEPHANT LOVE MELEDY PLAYING BOTH PARTS EXCERPT. Finishes and slouches over with faituge and gayness]
Emmaleigh: straighten up. NEXT!
Connor: [Sings abc’s to wrong tune with letters missing]
Emmaleigh:
Al: [Interp rain dance]
Emmaleigh: that was terrible. Next
Amanda: I’m here to present my range of emotions. This is when im sad. This is when im mad. This is when im happy. This is when im disgusted. This is when im heartbroken. This is when im surprised.
Emmaleigh: this is when im done. Next!
Alex: [sings “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” line]
Emm: No no no, Dorothy has to be a girl.
Alex: No, I really want this part. I really REALLY want this part. I NEED this part. I NEED TO BE DOROTHY. [starts false-setto]
Emmaleigh: I thought the first kid was gay.
Kathy: [PREPS HELLA MUCH] Romeo oh romeo!
Director: [enter director] STOP EVERYTHING! I have found fluffy and now we can begin. Say hello to Fluffy. [all watch silently. Director looks at all.] SAY HELLO TO FLUFFY!!!!!! [all greet apprehensively] Now, shall we start running scenes? To your places! [People look at one another awkwardly. Director takes seat and “readies” self.]
Emm: [Assistant Director directs individuals to their positions. Gives out parts.]
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